I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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