His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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