God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
