Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
