did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
