I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize