I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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