Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
