Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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