On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so let's talk penis.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
