what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We had sex on a dog bed..
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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