Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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