can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
