I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
