He told me they were just razor bumps!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
