he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
home. puking in laundry basket.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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