she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
