What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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