White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
thus making me awesome and them whores
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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