It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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