I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize