your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
