What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
