i barfeds in our rink
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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