we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hello my rib-scented angel!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
