Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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