Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The ass gains better be worth it
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