Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
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