North Korea, Best Korea!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
