so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
