whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
