i barfeds in our rink
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
