Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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