My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
