That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
