U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
