Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my shit smells like andre
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
