Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
