people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
In other news, I just burned my penis
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
