I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
