Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
