I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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