i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
third nipple confirmed
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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