I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
