Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize