I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
