i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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