I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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