the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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