She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize