I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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