is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize