Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize