just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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