I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
