Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize