Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize