So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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