Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
