you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
