There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
