Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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