he puts the penis in happiness.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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