The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
